Yesterday, I read Roz's blog post, /Embracingmyshadow, I tried to post them in parallel, but the type face enlarged is still difficult to see [try below] but you can read both and make your own assumptions about who and where we are... Rich
June 27, 2015
The Truth Shall
Always Set You Free.
I read more than I write about our shared Beloved
Community, but as one of those who watched and shared your progress through a
graduate educational process, I believe I know and have experienced all the
history you speak of in your intro. Most
recently, my writing and reading has been in the area of defining Luther [and Lutheranism]
and Race. I await its publication, and
seem daunted by the amount of research done and knowing that the published
piece will be 1/10 of the stuff I’ve unpacked.
I wish that I was quoting Luther when I flippantly
offer the phrase about the church we both love, when I say that the welcome mat
outside the door, says “Welcome Sinners”, knowing full well that the city
church in Wittenberg has a stone depiction of a pig, to firmly indicate that
Jews are not welcome. So yes the church has been one of truth-telling, risk
taking and prophetic enough to say “Show me in Scripture where I am in error.”
My parents converted from Baptist and African
Methodist Episcopal (AME), so I came along for the ride. Confirmed, educated,
married and ordained and now ‘retired’, I’m living into my third iteration of
Church and am seriously looking at how we became this church seeking to fulfil
a ‘wish for 10% in 10 years and failing to be the inclusive church hoped
for. The decline in the number of people
of color is probably less dramatic than the general loss of members in the
entire Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA), which started with 5.5
million members. As church, we have at
times led the way or stayed longer, but we are no different from the general
society in addressing cultural differences.
So here I am, a Black Elder in a
predominantly white church. Achieving adulthood during the mid 60’s to early
70’s, I benefitted from a few trail blazers, who helped to set my identity in
culture and faith. Black and White
mentors opened doors and opportunities and served as buffers from racism and
brokenness in church life.
Church College, church camp, Luther
League, and seminary, where I was a ‘visible’ symbol of progress. Integration was to be celebrated. Travel within church circles forced issues of
my being a cross cultural experience for others. Shared with colleagues from Philadelphia and
Puerto Rico who are no longer with us.
Hair was not the element touched, but
intellect, and familiarity with a liturgy without need of a book was the
surprise for others in our encounters.
Short hair wasn’t touched, but Afros were fair game in any setting. Even after ordination, as an officer in a
church organization wearing full clerics, participating in an installation, the
question was asked, “To which denomination do you belong?” Followed by, “How long have you been
Lutheran?” How does one answer, when you
are serving a congregation with 6th and 7th generation
Lutherans in the Caribbean?
How does one respond, when your bishop
asks you why a suburban congregation would be interested in you after a couple
of vacancy preaching assignments, and your only response is that five members
were your college classmates?
I am sorry that I was not able to
sufficiently prepare you with a defense of the microagressions that would fall your way.
The rationales are defenseless.
On leaving for college, my wise mother reminded me that wherever I would
go, “You will be certain to add color to the gathering.” Our experience is not considered to be a part
of the foundation of environment, though we may have experienced the most
visceral reaction by being ignored.
Paying attention is a survival mechanism,
when one is in the minority. Awareness
of surroundings and supporters, or [the lack thereof] is essential in surviving
and/or succeeding. Yes, DuBoix was
important, along with Cone, Wilmore, Malcolm X, Pero, Strobert, Floyd-Thomas,
Ray, Westfield, and Collier-Thomas. [name dropper]. Multi-lingual and multi-cultural, are the
gifts brought to all tables. Always
aware that I and others live simultaneously in two worlds, though one has
little or no perception of the other.
A week ago on Wednesday night, I
started re-writing my sermon
for Sunday at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, Lansdowne, PA, full well knowing that
once again I would add color to the group gathered. Recalling
the open door policy of the AME Church, it’s history of having a teacher
among its leaders, Daniel Payne, who was educated at Gettysburg, the ELCA’s
continued openness to educate clergy from other denominations, especially at
Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary, and sharing the pain of the murder of
two of its graduates.
It was only later in the week that it
became apparent that the perpetrator was a confirmand and church camper from
within our midst.
The welcome mat still says “Welcome
Sinners.”
The Welcome mat has always said
“Welcome Sinners”.
There is no guarantees of consistency
in the way that people respond to the challenges of society. While Fabritius and Falckner, were open to
sharing the Gospel message with all they encountered and Muhlenberg questioned
the institution of slavery, Muhlenberg’s son would be a slave holder, Pr. Berkenmeyer in New York would defend
slavery, John Bachman would grow up in a household that had slaves and freed
them.
When called to St. John’s Charleston,
SC, he would seek openness to minister to free Blacks before 1818 in Charleston,
yet he held slaves and defended the south as it attempted to leave the Union.
Somehow even this week, I sensed that
the church is still the church that raised me.
For every action by every member cannot be the measure of what it means
to be justified by Faith Alone and simultaneously have the ability to Sin
Boldly. The despair felt in being alone
is not something neither I nor anyone else can alleviate. Even with public descent at the time of my
mixed race marriage, there were those who affirmed, supported, and shielded.
Yet I am fully aware that each time I
change my set of colleagues, there are lessons to be taught, as well as
learned. Even in retirement the fatigue
of continually teaching the same lesson of the value of my [and your] humanity
seems to be emotionally taxing. I am
tired of being someone else’s multicultural experience.
My age may be the defining element of
being verbally open about what is going on inside, recently I recommended to
another former student that candor was best for me. Social media seems to be a preferred medium
for those who have well trained fingers, rather than well trained tongues. Yet the recipients do not receive the visual
cues that come with face-to-face interaction.
More ‘offense’ seems to come in responding
to social media. As has been said by
‘others’, we can be blinded by the inward focus and navel gazing when the focus
is on the keyboard and not the face.
Now is the time I wish that none of us
were ever alone. There is a reason we
have been trained to read about disciples and being sent out by twos. It becomes easy to question your sanity and
your accuracy, while you question your emotional stress and perhaps even your
sanity. Where is your companion Jesus,
when you need him?
Loneliness is difficult to explain in
the midst of a group who know what personal loneliness is, but have no ideal of
the depth of cultural loneliness. I know
that in the moment, it would not have been helpful to ask how was your personal
truthfulness about your feelings had the effect of victimizing them. When one feels personal pain and voices it,
one can wonder where are the comforters, who sense the pain in a sister during
a time of cultural crisis. Somehow your
cultural crisis was perceived as a personal and spiritual attack. Oh how quickly we can become defensive and
blame the victim.
Unless the rules are posted, I’m never
sure which ones I may be breaking.
Benefit of doubt and waiting are difficult to accomplish when the pain
is live and real. Though not related,
responding to death is not always governed by a timetable or rules [that are
unposted.]
If you had not assumed a relationship,
as fellow members of church body, then perhaps you would not have shared. They
obviously were not prepared to hear or share your pain of Wednesday past. There have been
consistent problems in personal
interactions when one ASS U ME s.
Sorry for the blatant word play, but it
relieves my tension, and it expresses a Truth.
I choose to be Free.
I believe that we are in the business
of sharing God’s Love. We are in the
business of sharing the Pain and the Pleasure that comes within the Community
of God’s People. We are called to share
God’s Truth and God’s Love.
I’m sure that if I analyzed the
Thursday supper with Jesus and Judas I could find elements of a disrupted
community, but the instructions seem to be relatively simple, even in the midst
of conflicted situation. Do what you
must do.
Truth remains: Retired Black Ordained
Elder in the Lutheran Church. Called to
speak the Truth in Love. Called to forgive those who sin and reconcile.
Our
prayers need to be expanded beyond just the significant concerns that are
raised about racial hatred and its expression in the United States. Though many have also hinted that this week’s
tragedy was an attack on religious liberty, we find that the issues may be much
closer to home as an exercise of cultural fear.
It is a question of who is our brother and sister. How do we teach and encourage spiritual
development, which says we are a part of an inclusive body of Christ.
On
Sunday I added this word from one of our predecessors who struggle to voice and
live his humanity in midst of times that may be eternal.
I dream a world
where man
No other man will scorn,
Where love will bless the earth
And peace its paths adorn
I dream a world where all
Will know sweet freedom's way,
Where greed no longer saps the soul
Nor avarice blights our day.Will share the bounties of the earth
And every man is free,
Where wretchedness will hang its head
And joy, like a pearl,
Attends the needs of all mankind-
Of such I dream, my world!
No other man will scorn,
Where love will bless the earth
And peace its paths adorn
I dream a world where all
Will know sweet freedom's way,
Where greed no longer saps the soul
Nor avarice blights our day.Will share the bounties of the earth
And every man is free,
Where wretchedness will hang its head
And joy, like a pearl,
Attends the needs of all mankind-
Of such I dream, my world!
I pray that as a collective body, as
the church I desperately love, that we will continue to seek the truth so that
we can all experience liberation and abundant life.
With Love and Concern
The Prof.
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